• Personal Stories


Stop Toxic Masculinity!

Imagine yourself living in a calm and peaceful place wherein categorizing and stereotyping individual to individual based on their genders doesn't exist. Isn't beautiful and lovely? Celebrating our diversity and differences, it's like living in a world of pure bliss. In reality, read the first word again because this doesn't exist— none of this exists.

I, myself, experienced and still encountering till now being misgendered and even come to the point wherein I no longer know myself anymore because of what the people around me and the society are telling me. I know myself as far as I can tell but the people who don't know anything about me made me confused, incorporate it together with your relatives and friends' judgment. I may not seem bothered and troubled but I do mind it.

I started questioning myself. Who am I, really? Am I straight, gay, bisexual, or what? What's funny is, no answer came up. Imagine, it is me who was already asking myself who am I but I can't answer it. Because I didn't pass to any standard of what the society built and inculcated to people.

The part where people ask about your sexuality and you have no answer but "Just judge me, I don't care," because you really cannot tell. How am I suppose to tell and answer other people given that I, myself, don't know the answer? I have no choice but to answer with doubt and hesitation. The good thing is some people ask straightforward and respectfully, conversely, some just assume but most asks with some sort of euphemism.

People's judgment came from the way a person presents themselves. The way you speak, move, your posture, even just the way you move your hands leads to a certain conclusion to them you are this and that. What's wrong with being comfortable doing the things you are comfortable with? Why do I have to follow certain rules with being comfortable with the things I'm comfy of doing, in view of the fact that I don't step on anyone while being comfortable doing things?

What's so wrong with being and showing both of my masculinity and femininity at the same time? What's wrong with being me? This question of mine was answered by one of the famous TikToker and a dancer named Gab Campos. He said to one of his TikTok videos, "When people conclude that you are gay, just by your presentation, the way you speak. That means you are too complex for them." As for me, I agreed with it. Too complex for them because they have this mindset instilled in their mind, you're not a man if you somehow act like a feminine and vice versa. Too complex for them because the way they see genders are with standards that if you didn't meet, you don't belong.

Within the past years, I learned to take it as a compliment and say "Thank you" for that. The fact that I can't change everyone's mindset but why would I change myself with that toxic mindset of yours? If you can't live with it, then that's your problem and not mine. It is not my problem to be this complex and difficult to understand by your smart brain.

As for the other people who are experiencing the same, I want to advise you simple things. Don't be afraid of being and showing your masculinity and femininity, of who you are because there is nothing wrong with being who you are. Never let the society who built a standard of categorizing and stereotyping tell you what is right and being who you are is wrong. Never let them made you feel confuse nor alienated. Master the art of ignoring those trashy mindsets and learn how to say "Thank you" rather than starting a fight because you will never win with a base-minded as your opponent.

I want to thank Gab Campos for inspiring me to write this article. Thank you so much, dude! God bless!

- nekkooolai 🖤✨


  • Anime Feels
    Oct 24, 2020 15:22