• Personal Stories



Crispy juicy pata, homemade red sauce pasta, sweet chocolate cake, three 1L drinks-served in the dining table for Christmas evening. Exchanging gifts, stories and laughter filled the air with joy. Hugs and kisses were around the corner. Kids playing with the toys they've got from their grandparents. They were enjoying the night full of love while I was in my room-crying.

I've been with a boy for almost 7 years when that happened. December 1st, we had a date night. Nothing special happened that day but I knew there's something wrong going around. He gave me a gift-the book i've been wanted ever since. We headed home, kissed my cheek and smiled. A minute later, he texted me. He wanted to end our relationship. The reason was so unclear. He gave me a list of it but still-unclear. I couldn't accept it. We cut-off both ends.

Two weeks after, I tried to save our relationship. Guess what? Yup! You are right! He had another girl. While I was crying for him, waiting for him, He was happy with the other. He was okay while I was at the midst of whys and hows. He was unbothered while I couldn't get back to work or even sleep peacefully at night. He was celebrating the Christmas eve while I'm at my room, staring at the cold sky, crying and praying that he comes back. Christmas day yet I felt like dying.

And now, we are almost 1 month away from December. I am with him, again. Im not afraid if the same thing will happen for the THIRD TIME around. But I am afraid to feel that pain. Afraid to cry when everyone's celebrating. Afraid to question my worth. Afraid to lose myself-