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Reaper_8895

Choose Yourself

I didn't know how stressed I was until I had to process not one, but two voluntary termination for my teammates today. 

One of them had to take care of his mother who is currently ill so talking him out of the idea of resignation was not easy. If I were in his position, I would definitely choose taking care of my mom and sacrifice my job. Like what I have been telling my teammates over the years, we work so we can provide to our families - at least most of us, and if we're stuck in a position where we need to choose between two things, family comes first. We can always find another job, but not another mom, or dad, or family, in general.

My other teammate's reason for leaving work, if I have to put it in my understanding, is mental health. For days, she's not feeling herself and all she thinks about is how she will fail meeting her targets again. So, to the best I can, I talked to her sincerely. For one, I know how she truly felt, 'cause I've been on that same scenario months ago.

Lockdown period will give you ample amount of time to think things through. Questions such as, "Do I really love what I do?", "Is this really how my life would be over the years?", "Am I not destined to do something greater than this?" and the ultimate question of what ifs will start popping out from nowhere. What if what I have now is just a phase? What if there's a lot more waiting for me if I go different ways? That poem by Robert Frost, "The Road Not Taken" would really be a timely read during these trying times.

And so, I started my statement with, "You know what, I appreciate that you're being honest with me and I don't blame you for choosing yourself over work. Sometimes, we tend to forget that it is not selfish to choose ourselves. People may think we are weak for quitting our jobs, or for having this mindset of leaving work because we can't handle our emotions well, or some may think we may not have enough responsibilities that we didn't think of how our finances will be after we resigned, and that's alright. People will believe what they want to believe, so you don't need to explain yourself to them. If your teammates will ask you why you quit your job, don't hesitate to tell them you choose yourself - you choose your own personal sanity over stress, you choose yourself over the toxicity the work environment has been giving you and I am telling you, it's nothing to be ashamed of. You tell them you choose yourself over the pressure you're getting from keeping this job."

She answered with a smile, and a thank you, for understanding what she's going through. She said she doesn't even know how to start again, she just wanted to rest for some time. She said she doesn't even have a back up plan, a new company she's eyeing to work for, just a few savings to get her what she's going through. I told her she is still young and talented and a very nice person, so looking for another job won't be hard for her, and I meant it.

Before I signed her resignation letter, I thanked her for all the years she spent working for the company and that we are not just colleagues but we're also friends outside of work so in case she needs something, or even if she's just looking for someone to talk to, I'll just be here. I told her I hope I had the courage to also choose myself, just like what she did, but my bills won't let me, so I had to stick around for a few more years. She laughed and she said, "I quit my job and chose myself. I think it will be hard for you because you're not just thinking about yourself, you're thinking about this team, and that's a lot to handle. You see, that's the difference between you and me, aside from the many things, of course - I, being only a part of this team, can quit my job without thinking of my teammates. While you, on the other hand, have to think about your entire team, and that's not easy for you because you're not a selfish person. But, as a friend, when the time comes and you're torn between choosing yourself and this team, or the management you're working for, please choose yourself - because like what you've been telling us over the years, you can always find another job, but not another you."

Comments

1 Comments
  • Jaerieee
    Nov 09, 2020 09:20
    I needed to hear these words. I quit my job months ago to choose to prioritize my family and myself. I cried to sleep thinking I’m not doing my part and I’m a burden. Thank you so much for these. 😭