I'm 22 years old and has anxiety and depression attack recently, when i as a young girl my parents died, my mom died in cancer my dad died in depression, my family was pretty fucked up, when i was 13 i tried to kill myself by cutting my wrist, i didn't grew up in an okay family i couldn't even saiy if its a family, when i was younger i studied hard tried to get a scholarship but my sisters still couldn't afford it so i go with the flow, now i graduated in a 2years college in HRS, i work as a waitress in a restaurant in BGC, my sister had a family so i was left with the eldest she doesn't go to work or something she's 33 years old, and now I'm actually struggling because I'm the bread winner i miss my parents realizing the life i would've had if their still alive i ask for comfort with my friends and telling them i cant see the direction in my life I'm getting older but i think im getting worst, half of them comforted me but someone stood up and told me "stop looking for them, we cant do anything about it, you keep yourself up locked in the past stop suffering yourself from the past today's different you struggled for 9 years already" i didn't know what to say back then, i was shock and i don't know maybe it was true, i was so caught up in the past that i couldn't see the people who are around me now, and now I'm improving i do self healing i went back to reading and writing, im trying to move on, on everything I'm trying to get better.