Dear You,
No more hiding of feelings, try not to be alone. "Two is better than one says God". Don't mind negative minded people controls your emotion.  Break every chain of negativity, anxiety, depression, set back and problems. This devil deeds eats your confidence not think of good for yourself there is  nothing more than being special to somebody. Find one who'm you two can go wherever you want. To worship God, travel and have future plans. Serve God and have ministry in the Lord. Start building your future which more likely plan by the Lord. No matter what the obstacle is, remember always that everything happens for a reason.  When you committed mistakes in life it was not a full imprisonment of regrets but it's a key for future close doors. Always look for positivity in every situation, there is one person God made you to be your future partner for some it may not be perfect, but for God it is the best among others. So keep play life with daily excitement because everything look good from heart will remain forever. May your Jowa be in a Right time and in a Right place.