• Personal Stories


Profile
Manuelito Anday

My Anxiety

My anxiety starts when I was in college ,that was the most memorable thing happen in my life. I even thought to kill myself because of so much pressure and I'm starting to overthink everything. But, I tool courage to face all the problems together with my family's support, and with that I graduated.

But that's not the end of my struggle, when I started my job , I met so many people with different habit and culture. There is someone in my work that I did not get along right away. We fought over something , and it reach our supervisor. I was afraid that time, thinking what would happen to me, are they gonna fire me? are they going to give me a disciplinary action, too many questions that popping on my mind, I'm having an anxiety attack , it brings all the memories during my college days. I thought those memories and feeling are already vanish inside my mind, but its not.
There is a friend of mine in my work that gives me advice and teach me how to deal with that kind of situation and kind of person. And days by days, my anxiety started to vanish but it takes me 3 weeks to completely forget that.

My next anxiety happen because of all my housemates, I cannot get along with them cause it is my first time living far away from my family and living in the same house with different people, different personality and different habit. At first were just happy and starting to get know each other. It was hard for me because I am a totally stranger to them, all of my housemates are already know each other because they came in the same university, they are classmates in short. I don't usually hang out with them or talk too much with them I just want to be alone.
One day, one of my housemates start complaining with my habit, he say, I am lazy and not contributing to maintain the cleanliness of the house. I get on what he say, yes I am lazy that's because they are also lazy, I'm just returning the favor, we fought over that, My other housemates also starting to get mad at me because of the fight between me and their friend.
I don't want a trouble, i took down my pride and apologize to them. That's the start of my fear to talk back to them, because i always thought they would be on the same side when i opposed one of them. I choose to be silent.

That's why when me and my other housemate having a trouble again because she thought I'm back stabbing her on our workplace. my anxiety got worse, I'm starting to have a panic attack, my heart beat is not normal, too much overthinking, choose to be alone every time and too much fear.

But one of my housemate started to talk to me, He told me that i should try to talk to them more often, to speak what's on my mind that there is no wrong to tell what I want to say to them. He also told me all my imperfections that others see to me, I should try to get along with them and other people and lastly, he said, "you should talk to us if you're having a problem cause that's the purpose of us, your housemate, so there is someone you can talk to and to lessen your anxiety attack, don't keep it to yourself we are here willing to listen to you".

Because of that person i started to open myself to other , always talk to them, get along with them, speak what i want to say without a fear. I know my social anxiety is still there but because of what i learned and help of my new friends, I know this fear will be totally vanished someday..

Comments

2 Comments
  • Eduard (Imeduardcullen)
    Oct 12, 2020 08:44
    Anxiety please leave us alone.
  • Mhay Gutierrez
    Oct 12, 2020 06:14
    Soon anxiety will completely fade away just keep moving and learning to socialize to others.