During the darkest days of my life, I struggled to even find a reason to continue living in this world. Everyday, I put on a facade for those around me, made shallow connections, laughed at the smallest things, everything just felt meaningless and funny to me.
     Maybe it was to make up for the fact that when I arrived home, another round of verbal, emotional and physical abuse would again ensue. No one really knew me, not my family, not my friends, no one. 
     Until someone forced their way in the darkness I've acquainted myself with and showed me colors I've never seen before. It was scary at first, I was so accustomed to the dark that I forgot what real light felt like. When I finally left our house, I started opening up, remnants of the shattered bits and pieces of myself, about my fucked up life, and it was then that I realized, one person really is enough to change your life. I became truly happy. And from then, motivation bloomed everywhere. 
     I started opening up to my closest friends, they accepted me, didn't judge me nor pity me, and they treated me the same, which was exactly what I needed at the time.
     I slowly grew close to my family, despite walls looming between me and my mother, because no matter what happened in the past, they would always be there, present when I need them. 
    I guess the only motivation I've fully built up till now is the motivation to live. It started from one boy, to my friends, to even my family. It's hard but when you look closely, motivation can be found even in the people who have hurt you immensely. 
     I found mine in the chatbox of my bestfriend (now boyfriend), who made me open up and look around in the first place; in the comforting hugs of my friends who have always been there for me, subtle gestures of reassurance in times that I thought I convinced them nothing was wrong; in the fragile strips of bandages that mended our family together, in hopes of being better than what we were before; in the tired eyes of my reflection, chanting that I've been strong in the past, and I will continue to be so until I reach my dreams.