I feel nothing anymore. Everyday i wake up with the sound of fear mongering news trying to break panic created each day. It seems like business is booming with them. I loose my job a month ago. The one thing i have and thought was a blessing turns out my worst nightmare. And for someone who's out of relationship it is everything. My tears have gone dry. 
Lying in the bed I stare blankly at the ceiling. My mind spiraling of freelance ideas. Trying to figure out which i'll make my folks survive. It is crazy. I have nowhere but to go up but i don't know where to go.
Good thing at these times I got my Christian friends when my whole faith is collapsing in front of my face. Truth is they maybe suffering worse than me but what we all have is an amazing memory. Of how God had change us before from the dirt we live in to the exhilarating experiences we go thought before.  I miss that. 
And i believe I can go back to that memory again by firing up my Christian faith. In praying, fasting, worshiping, going to church service, uplifting the spirit together. I have to go back to my fathers home. This is the only way life get started again.