To fully understand yourself, you should learn your pattern when it comes to relationships and know where you’re coming from. This is hard but this will make you better especially when you always fall into failed relationships or currently in a complicated relationship. This will help you. Trust me.

I’m reading blogs about relationships and I always end up disappointed.

 "Jusko ganitong-ganito talaga ako."

"Gaga ka talaga, ang tanga tanga mo."

"Bagay sayo yan hindi ka nakikinig. Hala kalang ng hala hindi ka nagpapigil. ayan."

But when you start understanding why you did the things you did in that relationship, you’ll feel better and you’ll get motivated to self transform. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Trust the process. You’ll get there I promise.

The first step is to know what your relationship signature is.

My relationship signature is THE OCEAN. I am attentive and empathic. When I commit to someone, I commit with all my heart. Maybe my closest friends who know my story wouldn’t agree because I had this relationship with a guy that I actually didn’t gave myself fully. I was also confused. But bare with me so we could all understand why I stayed in that relationship for 3 years though I’m half-hearted.

When I fall in love, take note: “fall in love” (na in love talaga as in hulog na hulog. indi lang like like) I lose myself. They said it could fall into obsession if not handled properly. If you’re an ocean archetype, you should learn how to balance and find your sense of center. The ocean isn’t grounded. It is powerful BUT chaotic. So you should work hard in calming yourself when you get excited.

Listen. Do you get worried when your partner is not calling or texting? Do you ALWAYS need reassurance in relationship or anxiously waiting for something bad to happen? Or you “unconsciously” ditch friends or personal interests when you fall for someone, abandoning yourself and your own needs and desires? If you’re like that, then give me a high five. ‘Coz me too.

I do worry when the replies are delayed, or when it’s already 7:00 am and there’s no “good morning” message from him.

The need of reassurance? Yes. Super yes. “Do you love me? ” “Why do you love me?” “Do you miss me?” “Where’s my i love you?” I always ask him to say things that I already know and tell him, “i know. i just wanted to hear it.” I need to hear it. Hearing it gives me a peace of mind. That everything’s fine. That WE are fine.

“Unconsciously” ditching friends and personal interests? With friends no. But with personal interests, guilty. I abandon my personal interests because I start doing what my man likes doing. I like that feeling that I can be that someone who can join him in doing things that makes him happy. And it doesn’t even bother me if I am enjoying it or not as long as he’s having fun. 

I lose my sense of center and get wrapped up in my emotions. And if you’re an ocean type like me, we can be prone to attract unhealthy relationship dynamics. Attracting men who are emotionally unavailable(mga wala pa ka get over sa ex nila is one of the best example), avoidant, and who don’t want to commit(yes it’s him.) Or men who are ‘nice guys’ but don’t excite you. Let’s not sugarcoat. ‘Nice guys but boring’. 

It’s a great challenge for us to stay true to ourselves when we are in a relationship so it’s important that we know what we really want even during conflict. We need to learn how to self-soothe so we don’t feel desperate, anxious, or afraid when conflict arises. Remember that when you start feeling desperate, your partner will feel it and it will not make him love you even more.(but that’s a different topic.)

So if you’re like me, let’s talk to ourselves and chant this morning mantra.

I am beautiful.
I am confident.
I am strong.
I am wise.
I am powerful.
I know what I want.
The romance. The passion. The love.
Deep friendship and connection.
I will not settle.
I OWN ME.

This post is so long and might bore some. But if you finished reading this, thank you. I will share my personal experiences on my next posts. I want to share my experience about these 3 men who taught me lessons that helped me know my true self and i hope you could also learn from it. I am not here to fix anyone. I want to help you understand and heal yourself.

YOUR HEALING IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

And if you find grammatical errors in my posts, feel free to message and correct me. Thank you in advance. 😊

Happy healing.🌱