Have you ever experience being so broken that you unthinkably traveled two hours just to see your best friends and ask for help because you were so broken after a failed relationship, and then, your best friends, just conspired with you, then you drink too much, and you do something stupid (drunk texting the exes and danced the night away with a loud music while the neighbors are sleeping), and you just wanna curl up into a ball and die! No, wait. of course, not die! Definitely, not yet. Of course, we have our own time to die, not just this moment, just because we are heart broken. Hello?! Of course, there’s more to life, and more to enjoy about life.

It was during that time then when I arrived from my best friend’s place, after reading the novel few days back, we watched the film, with the same title, Eat, Pray, Love. Although we already saw the film years ago, we’ve decided to just re-watch it over a fried chicken in KFC with soju and Thai whisky, a typical sleep-over, perhaps.

While we were on our tipsy level, I’ve decided I wanted to go to Bali, Indonesia, for personal reason and of course, inspired while watching the film. And without any hesitation, I booked a flight, for somehow, in hope to find love (not in a romantic kind of perspective at that moment, of course!). Also, since Italy and India are a bit far from Bangkok. So, I’m skipping them. Thus, I was not in the mood to Eat and Pray then, I’ve decided, to go on the last stage of the novel… Love. Well, the character, unexpectedly and eventually, found her love in Bali. Fast forwarding the time, last April of 2017. I went to Bali for a 10-day trip!

As for this personal journey, I’ve had few things that I did (for love, of course) in Bali!

REFLECT

Big word as it seems, but one of the reasons why I went to Bali, aside from being inspired by the novel, and got really brokenhearted because of a certain love affair, was to reflect about my life. It was a time for me to just reflect and rekindle of what I had gained and lost along the way. As I look back from my old self, I asked about… “Is my life worth living for? Was I a good person? to myself? to others? Did I do something great for the benefit of others?, etc.” Some of the life questions among the many, I’ve decided to pause, in a way, of what I do in every day living, and just reflect. Reflect on things as to what am I capable of, what I can give and service to others, what I can offer and live my life on my own. Perhaps, on those times, I’ve realized how important it is to just pause for a moment, from this crazy world. In this way, the least, for some, perhaps, but at most, was one of the things that I did for love, not just for others, but for my self. I just gave in. I just didn’t think of anything about work life, love life, and just reflect on the breeze of my journey. Letting things flow.

Going back before this trip, it was supposedly a best friends trip, but it turns out plans have changed due to inevitable circumstances, which ended up a solo-traveling trip. Although, I wasn’t really and literally alone during the entirety of my trip, as I was able to meet friends along the way. Perhaps, an innate perks of being a teacher. After all, I was never alone.

RECOVER

On a personal perspective, I think, part of healing yourself, not just from the physical, mental, spiritual, but as well as, emotional pain, is to recover yourself. Thus, in recovering the self, what I did then was just to let things make the days worth the count. Every time I travel, I don’t really have an exact itinerary but of course when I visit to new or unfamiliar places, I always make it to a point, that I will have a day going to touristy places, at least. However, there will always be inevitable circumstance, just like the weather is not cooperating, or the tour is accidentally full, or for many unfathomable circumstances, I just make it to a point, that I will not stress over things that I cannot control. After all, I’m a tourist, and I can do whatever I want to do. In most times, also, whenever I travel, if the plans that I want to do doesn’t go its way, I prefer to just going to chill places, like bars or cafes, or undiscovered places, but of course, with safety precautions.

It’s August now, although the memories of last April 2017 is still vivid while I was in Bali. Perhaps, it was one of the magical journeys I had yet. Magical in a way that every single day in Bali, there’s always something new to discover, something that surprised me as I go through day to day. There was this day, while I was in Ubud, after my day tour, I went to a local market and just let myself get lost, went souvenir for shopping, but after a while, I’ve realized that my phone’s battery was about to drain, as I was planning to go home, the rain poured, but luckily, I found a cafe, and they just let me charge my phone. Waited for an hour for the rain to stop, and just took the time to listen to the rain. It was definitely my moment of Dolce Far Niente, my sweetness of doing nothing. It was a moment of just not thinking about the future, it’s like, come what may, as they say. Perhaps, the most magical I had yet. Perhaps, this is what Bali is all about for me, in one moment, I was at the beach, then to temples, then, to mountains, in the most unexpected moments.

True enough, time does help, in recovering from the pain. But of course, pain doesn’t just get away that fast. I needed the time for myself, to enjoy myself without expecting anything from anyone.

REWARD

After working for two years in the land of smiles, I’ve learned to reward myself with great food and drinks. To me, I think, part of doing things for love is to reward yourself with great food, regardless of the price. But, of course, I made sure that the food or drinks that I buy fits within my budget. If you want to be extravagant, that’s for you to decide. On a personal note, as long as it makes you happy, and you are contented with it, then go for it. Whatever it is, GO FOR WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!

As I have always shared, I reward my self with traveling, too. As it is my own outlet from this crazy world that we live. Traveling is my personal luxury. Although, it’s a privilege and of course, an opportunity, to learn and discover something new, but some privileges needs hard work, too. So, if you’re an aspiring traveler, with less cash, try to work hard. Save money! Unless of course, someone will give you a treasure, then you are a lucky person.

And for many reasons and questions that I have in mind when I was in deep pain, I just had to stop the moment, or perhaps, pause at that time, and just let things flow. And so I was, I rewarded my self with self discovery on my own. Traveled to new and unknown places by my self, and enjoy every single bit of moments.

Everything is still a process, though, for some reason, I will meet new people and environment, and perhaps, will have my own highs and lows, but regardless of it, it’s a learning process. Thus, everyday is a lesson learn.

3 BIG R words that taught me in Bali. Words that I will never ever forget and I will always treasure. Thus, these are the things that I did for love in Bali. And so, I’d like to end this episode, from the novel that inspired me to go to Bali, Eat Pray Love…

DEVO FARMI LE OSSA

“I need to make my bones.”

I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore.